Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: A Terrible Movie

For this movie, TMNT stands for "BOX OFFICE POISON"

For this movie, TMNT stands for “BOX OFFICE POISON”

OKLAHOMA CITY – A couple of months ago, I watched what might be the worst movie I’ve ever seen in a theater: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This film “stars” Megan Fox alongside computer-generated images, and it would have been great had the acting, CGI, story, music, directing, pacing and cinematography not all been from the bottom of the barrel. Iwis, there is essentially nothing to like about the picture, and I feel bad for anyone who spent money to see it, i.e. myself.
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Sleeping Beauty AVAILABLE NOW on Blu-Ray for less than $1 BILLION

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Back from the vault!! Sleeping Beauty!!!!!!!

OKLAHOMA CITY – When I executed the Epic Disney Watchfest last year, it was clear that one movie by far was the most gorgeous: Sleeping Beauty. Walt Disney nearly broke his studio producing the film, to great avail – his investment gave us a masterpiece for all time. As I wrote in my original review:

Despite the costly nature of inking, it also has a huge benefit. Namely, the art in this thing is luscious. There are fantastic character designs, rich sets, and incredibly detailed and beautiful outdoor landscapes. I specifically remember most of the scenes in the woods as standouts. In a nutshell, this movie makes me feel the same way I did during Avatar – I just can’t believe someone was able to make a movie so visually impactful.

Forsooth, SB is amazing. Add in the native widescreen presentation and it is a shoe-in purchase for any lovers of Disney, animation, cinematography, art or just lovers of fine aesthetics.

Problem is, before yesterday, a new copy of SB on blu-ray cost somewhere around $80, a handsome sum too steep for most average folks. Of course, you could get the film on DVD, but since blu-ray is the ultimate in hi-def visuals, and since these visuals are too good for a less-than-premium presentation, well…. buying it on DVD wasn’t an option.

That’s why I’m so glad to see that Disney has brought Sleeping Beauty out of the vault, making it available on blu-ray once again for the reasonable sum of $19.99. Also included are DVD and digital versions of the film.

All in all, I can’t think of anything to say except BUY IT. Disney is notorious for yanking films off the market, so snag a copy before they’re $80 again. Mayhap it would be the perfect Christmas gift?

Click here to purchase Sleeping Beauty on blu-ray.

Also, for you VHS-philes, thankfully there are somehow some copies of SB still available on VHS. Despite steady and universal economic inflation, this version of the film has defied all odds and stands available for purchase at prices lower than ever. Now’s your chance to make your dream come true and finally own this amazing film on the best home movie format of 1997!!!

Click here to purchase Sleeping Beauty on VHS. You know you want to.

What I’m Reading and What’s in the Queue 9/16/14

September 16, Tuesday

I’ve discovered that I accumulate books much faster than I can read them. So, at any given moment, I tend to have ONE book I’m reading and about fifteen I plan to get to. It’s pretty ridiculous.

Anyway, my slothfulness means that you can easily keep up with my reading, read the same books I am, and then compare your thoughts with mine when I write a new review.

So, here is just a quick list of some of the books I’m reading and have queued up to read. NOTE: I’m including links to purchase these items from Amazon, the same place I purchase nearly all my books.

Happy reading – we’ve got a lot of good stuff ahead!!

Currently reading:

Alas, Babylon - classic story about survival in the aftermath of nuclear war. Click to purchase.
El Capitán Alatriste – this is a recent historical fiction about a famous man of fortune in 17th century Spain. I’m learning Spanish, so I’m slowly reading this in Español. It’s also available in English. Click to purchase (English). Click to purchase (Spanish).

In the queue:

Lights Out – this is another survival-type story. Apparently it has some rough language, so beware. Click to purchase.
Journey to the Center of the Earth – Jules Verne’s classic. Click to purchase.
All Sail Set – A swashbuckling adventure. Not exactly sure what it’s about, but it is supposed to be a fun historical novel. Click to purchase.
The Young Carthaginian – Historical fiction from G.A. Henty. Novel geared toward young men, very informative about the period when Hannibal lived. Click to purchase.

There’s other books not on the list. I’ll add them when I get closer to taking them up.

Guardians of the Galaxy: A Review of My Favorite Movie This Year

Guardians of the GalaxyOKLAHOMA CITY – When I walked out of my third screening, there was no question: Guardians of the Galaxy is my favorite movie this year and my favorite since Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. I like practically everything about it. The characters, acting, music, story, CGI, humor and creativity are significantly better than most recent motion pictures, and they’re superior to every Marvel movie except maybe Iron Man. You’ll notice I didn’t say ‘and The Avengers.’ I didn’t forget it; turns out, I have several problems with The Avengers, and I welcome your excoriation.
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The Expendables 3: A Review of the Greatest Movie Ever Made

The Greatest Movie Ever

The Greatest Movie Ever

If you haven’t read my reviews of Expendables 1 and Expendables 2, you have shamed your families. You should read those reviews immediately if not sooner. Then you can read this review.
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Front Wars Update: 8-22-14

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Check out the newly updated Front Wars on iOS, Android and Windows Phone.

OKLAHOMA CITY – Front Wars dev Gregory Challant is releasing yet another update to his ultra-fun turn-based strategy game. This time around, Challant is releasing several big changes including improved AI, a revamped and expanded single-player campaign, and general bug fixes. This all in conjunction with keeping the still-delightful multiplayer intact.

For more information, check out my Front Wars review and strategy page. If you like strategy games, you should download Front Wars for iOS, Android or Windows Phone today. It’s great. :)

There's no better time to go BOOM than now. Download Front Wars today.

There’s no better time to go BOOM than now. Download Front Wars today.