The Greatest Review of “Gulliver’s Travels” EVER

I finally finished Gulliver’s Travels. Here’s the thing – I know it’s a renowned work of tremendous historical significance, but golly gosh is it boring. That’s why it took me nearly two months to get through it. Two months!! It’s a 226-page book and it took me two months! I usually knock those back in a matter of days. Whatever.

In the end, should you read it? Should you slog through Jonathan Swift’s masterpiece, culturing yourself up? Those are great questions; I’m glad I asked them. In an effort to be balanced and equitable, I’ve developed several arguments for reading it and several arguments against reading it and arranged said arguments into two lists. I’m pretty sure these lists will completely and definitively solve the question of should you or should you not read Gulliver’s Travels, and you’re welcome. Here they are:

FOR

  1. It is a historical masterpiece.
  2. You can honestly say you got through it (kinda similar to a marathon).
  3. You can catch a glimpse of early 18th-century political satire, which, if you’re honest with yourself, you will admit you’ve always known you could stand to do a little more of.
  4. You can impress all your pompous friends.
  5. You can look smarter just by carrying it around.
  6. You will encounter some really juicy English including the mother lode of outrageous words – page 139 of the Dover Thrift Edition. For cereal, there are more outlandish words on that one page than in pretty much the rest of the book. And I love it. Actually, this is the single most compelling reason to check out Gulliver’s Travels – the language, at times, is amazing.
  7. There are some genuinely funny moments though they are few and far between. I especially liked the visit to the Academy of Lagado where some guy was learning to build houses from the roof down and another guy was testing the malleability of fire.
  8. It’s only like $3.15. I guess that’s not a reason to read but more of a way of saying money is no excuse for not reading. And I’m sure there’s probably a copy at the library, so you could read it for free. So basically, it’s easily acquired. Btw, remember those things, libraries? I haven’t been to a library in over a fortnight. I should go. Anyway, we’re not here to discuss libraries.
  9. You might learn something. Like, you might learn that there’s more to the story than a giant guy getting tied to the ground by a whole bunch of small guys.
  10. It’s actually not a kid’s book.
  11. It was written by this guy:
Jonathan Taylor Thomas Taylor Swift

Jonathan Taylor Thomas Taylor Swift

AGAINST

  1. It’s really boring.
  2. It’s nauseatingly boring.
  3. It’s disgustingly boring.
  4. It’s scrophulously boring.
  5. It’s actually not a kid’s book.
  6. It was written by this guy:
Jonathan Taylor Thomas Taylor Swift

Jonathan Taylor Thomas Taylor Swift

Math isn’t my best subject, and I’m no Houyhnhnm, but it looks like there are more arguments for reading Gulliver’s Travels than against it. Plus, four of the arguments against reading it are identical. So, looks like you should probably read it. Who knows? Maybe you’ll like it.

Grant Stevens is so glad that he can grace the world with his awe-inspiring literary efforts. While not pulverizing the Pulitzer possibles, he is the Supreme Dictator For Life of the Use Ironic Correctly Society, and he loves watching movies and sports. And he is into apologetics. And he has recorded an album of which you can hear a sample for free here!!!!!!!!!!!!

One thought on “The Greatest Review of “Gulliver’s Travels” EVER

  1. Oh Grant, I am so glad you read this book so that you could render such an entertaining review!!! Keep up the great, funny, ironic job!

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