Avengers: Infinity War: A Very Vague reView

Avengers: Infinity War is a movie

OKLAHOMA CITY – Avengers: Endgame is here!!! Time for a new rev- wait a second: I never wrote a review of Avengers: Infinity War???

(Searches the archives…)

I guess I didn’t. Wow.

For the record, I try to review every movie I see in the theater unless there’s a really good reason for not doing so. I can’t think of any reason why I would have skipped reviewing this other than sheer business. I am also realizing I never reviewed Hacksaw Ridge or The Lego Batman Movie either. Guys, I apologize – that is just outright bad customer service.

To make up for it, I promise to write my next three movie reviews for free, and I will be giving out refunds for my last three reviews.

Mondotees.com produced this alternate movie poster designed by Matt Taylor

Okay, so about this review – here’s the problem with not reviewing a movie quickly (other than the fact that nobody cares to read a review after the movie’s been out of theaters for like a million billion years) is that I eventually forget my detailed opinions of the film. So, what I’m left with are vague thoughts and impressions. Which actually, when you think of it, might be kind of interesting. Maybe it’ll be like a Monet-losing-his-eyesight-but-still-hitting-homers painting rather than, say, a pitch-perfect Pieter Claesz still life. Mayhap this, like a wondrously messy impressionistic painting, will evoke imagination and fantasy, giving readers the freedom to interpret and see new truths, to find a new perspective that can’t be found any other way.

Or not. We’ll see.

So, here are my vague thoughts and impressions on Avengers: Infinity War.

  1. It’s really good. I can’t be much vaguer than that. Forsooth, it is a good movie. On a scale of 1-10, I give it an A+. It’s probably my…oh, I don’t know…fourth(?) favorite Marvel movie (the others being IronmanGuardians of the Galaxy, and the Spiderman 2 by Sam Raimi), and it’s definitely my favorite Avengers film. Which is sacrilege, I know, I know “Avengers is great blah blah blah, it can’t be beat blah blah blah” whatever. I didn’t love it. I really liked Infinity War.

    Greymatterart.com produced this alternate movie poster designed by Dan Mumford

  2. But…but…I’m confused: how can anything good happen now? SPOILER ALERT SKIP TO #3 TO AVOID SPOILERS For those who don’t know, anyone wielding the Infinity Gauntlet with ALL the Infinity stones can snap his or her fingers and wipe out anyone he or she wants to from anywhere in the galaxy. SPOILER ALERT —– SPOILER ALERT —– SPOILER ALERT —– SPOLER ALERT You have been warned. The thing is this: Thanos gets the Infinity Gauntlet. With all the stones. And he wipes out tons of people with the snap of his fingers. And there’s a sequel? Presumably wherein the good guys triumph? How that’s possible is beyond me. Sure, Dr. Strange used magic to figure out that there’s one path to victory, but that just means Thanos is a moron. With the power he wields coupled with his willingness to kill people to achieve his vision of a better world, how can there be ANY scenario where he loses unless he is just a total idiot? I’m excited for the sequel because I want to see if they can pull off something even remotely believable without turning Thanos into a blithering stupid-head.
  3. BATTLE SCENES The battle scenes!!!! Are!!!!!!! Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  4. The soundtrack is amazing and memorable said no one ever about a Marvel film. Check out this video about how Marvel films play it really safe with soundtracks. https://youtu.be/7vfqkvwW2fs
  5. Character mix The first Avengers was praised for its effortless blending of so many major characters. This movie does that, too, except with even more characters. Nice!

That’s it – those are my thoughts and impressions of the film a year after seeing it. Okay, now time for Avengers: Endgame!!! Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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