Frozen: A Review Of This Year’s Chilliest Children’s Movie (Which Is Also Good For Adults)

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From the studio that brought you Opulent and Recherche comes a whole new adventure…

From the studio that brought you Tangled and Brave comes a whole new fairy tale movie with an adjective for a name: Frozen!! I liked the movie, but personally, the movies to which I’m looking forward are Unparsimonious, Legubrious, and Metaphysically Necessary. I’m also waiting with bated breath for Small, Nice, and, my favorite, Rotund. Sadly, I’m afraid it will take several years for all those to be made. Alas. For now, let’s talk about Frozen. Continue reading

Epic Disney Watchfest Recap: The Most Comprehensively Comprehensive Recap Ever

So, the Epic Disney Watchfest has come to an end. It’s so sad!!! Continue reading

Epic Disney Watchfest 18: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs & The Princess and the Frog: You Could Get Seventy-Seven Dwarfs And Kiss One Hundred Frogs And You STILL Wouldn’t Get A Better Review Than This

Well, here it is – the ultimate review of the Epic Disney Watchfest. It’s been real. Okay, enough sappiness – let’s get right to the reviews !!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

936full-snow-white-and-the-seven-dwarfs-screenshotSomewhere along the way, I lost track of who I watched what movies with. However – I remember watching Snow White with Brazle, as it was right after church and no one else could come for some reason. Glad we could settle that. Anyways, it was awesome to watch the very first full-length hand-drawn feature film EVER. Continue reading

Epic Disney Watchfest 17: Pinocchio and Brother Bear: Even If You Wish Upon A Star You’ll Never Get A Better Review Than This

Here it is, the penultimate review of the Epic Disney Watchfest. I’m fired up – time to finish this out like a champ. On to the reviews!

Pinocchio

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Pinocchio has multiplane technology.

The most common question I’ve gotten during the Watchfest is “What’s your favorite movie?” I love the question, but I have to admit, it’s tough to answer. Continue reading

Epic Disney Watchfest 16: Dumbo and Treasure Planet: A Review Of Two Movies With Names That Describe Each Other Quite Accurately

Guys, it’s time for the antepenultimate review of this Epic Disney Watchfest. I hope you’re as excited as I am – this thing has been profligately superlative, and it’s only going to get better. This review covers Dumbo and Treasure Planet, two movies of distinctly disparate qualities. Before I get to my thoughts, I want to ask you a favor. It occurs to me that some of you might’ve revisited some of these films after reading some of these reviews. If you have, I would love to hear from you, either in the comments below or in a personal email. You can tell me how much you loved the picture or how much you hated it. Or you can just share some good vibes and love for the Mouse Guys. No matter, I would love your feedback. Okay, on to the reviews!

Dumbo

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Dumbo is a full-length feature film.

Dumbo is an all-time classic. I love it. Continue reading

Epic Disney Watchfest 15: Bambi and Lilo & Stitch: A Toutable Review If I Ever Read One

So, writing these Disney reviews is like running. Actually, I’m not a runner, so I think it’s like running. Specifically, I think it’s like endurance running. The endurance runners I know frequently talk about “the wall”, that invisible physical barrier that greets you anytime you’re going for a significant distance. They tell me that good endurance running isn’t avoiding the wall but pushing through it, continuing until your next wind or until you can go no longer move. Well, I hit “the wall” back on Sleeping Beauty. For some reason, that was the most brutal review of the bunch. Like, I normally knock these things out in about 3-4 hours – that one took about 8. Craziness!!! Still, I was able to push through, and I enjoyed a subsequent burst of energy which climaxed with Cinderella. But, I can feel the lactic acid building up and the high wearing off. The good news? With only three reviews left, I know the finish line is only a couple miles away. I can make it. I WILL make it. Uh oh – for some reason I just thought “Feel dee rhythm, feel da rhyme” from Cool Runnings. I think I’m getting delirious. On that note, time for some reviews!!

Bambi

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Bambi is based on Bambi.

Bambi is a lovely movie about a baby deer’s mother getting killed by hunters. Continue reading