Captain America: Civil War – A Painstaking Review of A Captain America Movie That I Remember As An Ironman Movie

Coming to theaters four months ago.

Coming to theaters three months ago.

OKLAHOMA CITY – My friend Katie said I should write a review of the latest Marvel movie, Captain America: Civil War. I’ve not been able to bring myself to write anything as the movie was entirely unremarkable. Today, though, I’ve found myself completely bored and realized I should write up my (sparse) thoughts.
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Meh of Steel: A Super Review of Man of Steel

man-of-steel-posterMan of Steel is terribly disappointing. I watched it several weeks ago, and I’m just now getting around to write about it. It’s that uninteresting. Notice how I used the word uninteresting; I was tempted to use mundane words like “bad”, “good”, “abysmal”, “stellar” or any other number of typical adjectives, but uninteresting seems to fit better than anything else. Which is not good. Continue reading

Epic Disney Watchfest 17: Pinocchio and Brother Bear: Even If You Wish Upon A Star You’ll Never Get A Better Review Than This

Here it is, the penultimate review of the Epic Disney Watchfest. I’m fired up – time to finish this out like a champ. On to the reviews!

Pinocchio

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Pinocchio has multiplane technology.

The most common question I’ve gotten during the Watchfest is “What’s your favorite movie?” I love the question, but I have to admit, it’s tough to answer. Continue reading

Epic Disney Watchfest 13: Alice in Wonderland and The Emperor’s New Groove: A Wondrous and Groovy Review

If you recall, Brazle and I set out to watch every one of Disney’s traditionally-animated movies between March 11 and April 1. We did it!! Last Thursday, Brazle, Hayley and I watched the last film of the project, The Princess and the Frog. It was a super fun ride. Now, the only thing left is to complete my reviews. No sweat.

Before launching into Alice in Wonderland and The Emperor’s New Groove, I have to say – these movies are polar opposites for me. Emperor’s is one of my favorites while Alice is…..well, I’m unlikely to ever watch Alice again. I feel like you should know that. Alright, review time!!!!!!!

Alice in Wonderland

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Alice in Wonderland is bizarre.

I think Alice in Wonderland is really bizarre, so I decided to match its bizarreness by writing it a poem that might or might not have a meter. Here we go. Continue reading

Epic Disney Watchfest 1: The Black Cauldron: A Hearty Review of the Black Sheep of the Disney Animated-Film Stable

black_cauldron_ver1Err Mah Gerrrsh. I just watched The Black Cauldron with Brazle and Hayley. It’s about a young boy named Taran (he’s an Assistant Pig-Herder) and his quest to keep the mysterious Black Cauldron out of the hands of the evil Horned King.  It was surprisingly enjoyable; I would give it a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. That’s pretty good for what is one-of-if-not-the-biggest-of box-office failures in the history of Disney’s illustrious line of animated films. What I liked: it has some beautiful artwork, nice animation, fun characters, a rousing soundtrack, and a wonderful medieval fantasy world. What I didn’t like: it has several plot holes, sketchy pacing in places, poor character development and an extremely rushed ending. Throw all that in the hopper and you get a pretty okay kid’s movie. 6/10. Continue reading

Super Crazy Epic Disney Movie Time: Prepare Yourselves

disneyPrepare yourselves – the beginning is near. More precisely, the beginning of my and Brazle’s epic journey through the entirety of the Disney traditionally-animated movie catalog. Here’s the plan: there are 38 core feature-length films on the list. We already watched Hercules with our buddy Cary, so that one is checked-off. That leaves 37 films through which we will plow. We both agreed it would be interesting to compare the earliest animation with the most recent, so we decided to start in the middle. That would be film #19, The Black Cauldron (which also might be the weakest film on the list – we shall see). From there, we will watch two films in each sitting, one working toward the earliest releases and the other working toward the latest. I made the executive decision to nix the early “double feature” movies like that Caballeros movie, the Ichabod movie etc. After cutting those out, we should arrive at the end of our journey with Snow White and The Princess and the Frog. This will be epic. And if that isn’t epic enough, Brazle is flying to Belgium on April 1st, so we have 21 days to watch 37 movies. I can’t wait.

One last thing: I’m going to be chronicling this whole experience throughout, so check back regularly for updates and my awesome thoughts on each and every Disney traditionally animated movies.

Okay, Brazle and Hayley are here. Time for The Black Cauldron. So buckle up and hang on – this is going to be a very cute, precious, adorable and awesome ride. Peace.

Les Miserables – The Least Miserable and Instead Happiest Movie Review In The History of Movie Reviews

Laaaaaa Lalalalalaalalalal Laaaaaalaaaaaa  I watched Les Miserables a few days ago with Brazle, Hayley and Casey. Hayley was seeing it for her SIXTH time and Casey for her THIRD.  Suffice it to say they really like it.  Brazle and I were both seeing it for the first time, and for me, it was the first time I had watched a musical in the theater, I think ever.  Do Disney cartoon movies with lots of songs count??  Anyway, it was interesting seeing a filmed musical.  Overall, I thought it was good.  The costumes and sets are extremely well done, and the acting is quite good as well.  Actually, the acting is completely breathtaking in spots.  For me, Anne Hathaway killed her role as Fantine.  Her rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” is unbelievable.  I’ve not seen many acting moments that can rival that particular scene, except for in The Expendables 2, where EVERY acting performance rivals it, especially Jean-Claude Van Damme.  Continue reading