Epic Disney Watchfest 10: Sleeping Beauty and The Hunchback of Notre Dame: This Review Would Have Been Inked Were It Not Too Expensive

Guys, I hope you’re excited. We are to the point in this journey where we begin to encounter Disney’s most classic works. This review covers one of the best animated films ever, Sleeping Beauty, and, as we continue, we will be watching pictures such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella, Pinocchio and many other great equally great movies. On the other side, we are leaving behind Disney’s modern treasures. Sadly, there will be no more Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin or The Lion King  to look forward to. But, that doesn’t mean there are no good films left. On the contrary, the second part of this review will cover The Hunchback of Notre Dame (which is nearly on par with some of those aforementioned modern treasures) while future reviews will include fun films like Tarzan, The Emperor’s New Groove and The Princess and the Frog. Those are all good films to which I am very much looking forward. So, like I said, I hope you’re excited, because I sure am. This stretch run will be really, really fun. Okay, on to the reviews!

Sleeping Beauty

Sleeping Beauty inspires beautiful artwork.

Alright, so Sleeping Beauty!! What to say, what to say?? Basically, it’s just one of Disney’s most classic and iconic films. No big deal.

Epic Disney Watchfest 9: 101 Dalmatians and Pocahontas: An Extraordinarily Extraordinary Review

So, if you missed Epic Disney Watchfest 8, I explained that Brazle and I plowed through four movies last Monday. I reviewed the first two in that piece, Sword in the Stone and The Lion King. Now, I’ll turn my attention to 101 Dalmatians and Pocahontas.

101 Dalmatians

101 Dalmatians in onederful.

101 Dalmatians is a very good animated film. Coming on the heels of Sleeping Beauty (which was unsuccessful at the box office, believe it or not), this was the last of the really classic Disney movies until the Disney Renaissance in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Of course, there are some other good movies between this and The Little Mermaid, but this work possesses a basic charm that was misplaced until Mermaid. Based on “The Hundred and One Dalmatians” by Dodie Smith, this movie tells the unlikely story of an evil woman named Cruella de Vil who dognaps ninety-nine dalmatian puppies in an effort to make a one-of-a-kind fur coat and the lengths to which one set of puppies’ parents (Pongo and Perdita) go to bring them all home. Yep, it’s an outlandish plot, but that kind of makes it awesome. The three things I like best about this movie are the story, animation and music.

Epic Disney Watchfest 8: Sword in the Stone and The Lion King: A Pair of Appropriately Kingly Reviews

In case you don’t remember, my buddy Brazle and I recently decided to plow through every traditionally animated Disney movie by the end of March. We watched the first film on March 11, leaving us 19 days to get through the other 35 or so films. Throw out three days because we have a Bible study on Tuesdays and that leaves 35 films in 16 days. If you’re a mathematician or perhaps a rocket scientist or brain surgeon, you might be able to realize that 35 films in 16 days is pretty much two point one eight seven five films a day. Two point one eight seven five ANIMATED films a day. Of course, that is a fantastic situation in which to be. Now, you might be asking the question “Why would you ever want to do that??” Rest assured, there is an actual reason. But, since this is neither the time or place for an explanation, I’ll just leave my response at “It’s awesome.”

Unfortunately, we were a bit too casual with our movie-watching early on, so we got stuck in a position of having to watch four movies last Monday just to keep up. We made it through three and a half before even we decided “This is ridiculous.” The movies that evening were Sword in the Stone, The Lion King, 101 Dalmatians, and Pocahontas; we made it through all of them but Pocahontas, which I still need to finish (I tried to finish last night after Bible study, but my internet went out right as I started watching. Massive fail.) Since I don’t want to subject you to a 4,000 word blog entry, especially with my current too-narrow-of-a-reading-column-that-forces-you-to-scroll-and-scroll-and-scroll-and-scroll theme, I’ve decided to break this review into two parts. In part 8, I’ll cover Sword in the Stone and The Lion King. In part 9, I’ll cover 101 Dalmatians and Pocahontas.

Sword in the Stone

This picture depicts the last five minutes of the film.

If Sword in the Stone were released today, it would probably be the most confounding decision of all time. Imagine this movie being pitched today:

Epic Disney Watchfest 7: The Jungle Book and Aladdin: A Better Review Than Any Genie Could Ever Write

Hayley, Brazle and I screened The Jungle Book and Aladdin last night. Great stuff.  Let’s get right into the reviews.

The Jungle Book

The Jungle Book is a great movie.

The Jungle Book is a really fun movie. In case you haven’t seen it, the film tells the tale of Mowgli, a human baby who is abandoned and raised by wolves deep in the jungles of India. When the wolves get word that the tiger Shere Khan is coming back to the jungle, they decide Mowgli must go live in the man-village; Bagheera the panther decides to take him there. Along the way, they meet up with Baloo the bear, and that’s when the story really picks up. The story is lighthearted compared to newer Disney films ie Beauty and the Beast, but like most of Disney’s best work, it has awesome songs and memorable characters. The jungle artwork is also really attractive. Overall, I would give this movie a 7.6/10, mostly due to the extremely awesome lineup of songs.

Epic Disney Watchfest 6: The Aristocats & Beauty and the Beast: Two Indispensable Reviews

Just when you thought this Epic Disney Watchfest couldn’t get any better, Brazle, Venny and I had to go and watch The Aristocats and Beauty and the Beast. As those crazy Americans say, now we’re cooking with gas. Before I share some thoughts and comments on the films, I want to give a shout out to Brazle and Venny for making a special effort to be at my house right on time so we could slam these movies in the wee window of time I had available Saturday night. Clutch performance from those two. Clutch performance. And if you’re wondering why we didn’t just take it easy and watch only one, well, we are trying to watch EVERY traditionally animated Disney feature by the end of March, and according to my schedule, we are going to have to watch two movies every night from now until the end of the month (excluding Tuesdays) lest we risk missing one. I mean, it’s not like you would climb to within ten feet of the top of Everest and then turn back due to adverse conditions. In the same way, we aren’t going to let the calendar say we can’t achieve our goal. Where there’s a will there’s a way. Alright, on to the reviews!!!

The Aristocats

The Aristocats is a charming movie for kids and families.

The Aristocats is a lovely, simple movie that is absolutely great for families and kids.

Super Crazy Epic Disney Movie Time: Prepare Yourselves

Prepare yourselves – the beginning is near. More precisely, the beginning of my and Brazle’s epic journey through the entirety of the Disney traditionally-animated movie catalog. Here’s the plan: there are 38 core feature-length films on the list. We already watched Hercules with our buddy Cary, so that one is checked-off. That leaves 37 films through which we will plow. We both agreed it would be interesting to compare the earliest animation with the most recent, so we decided to start in the middle. That would be film #19, The Black Cauldron (which also might be the weakest film on the list – we shall see). From there, we will watch two films in each sitting, one working toward the earliest releases and the other working toward the latest. I made the executive decision to nix the early “double feature” movies like that Caballeros movie, the Ichabod movie etc. After cutting those out, we should arrive at the end of our journey with Snow White and The Princess and the Frog. This will be epic. And if that isn’t epic enough, Brazle is flying to Belgium on April 1st, so we have 21 days to watch 37 movies. I can’t wait.

One last thing: I’m going to be chronicling this whole experience throughout, so check back regularly for updates and my awesome thoughts on each and every Disney traditionally animated movies.

Okay, Brazle and Hayley are here. Time for The Black Cauldron. So buckle up and hang on – this is going to be a very cute, precious, adorable and awesome ride. Peace.

Zero Dark Thirty: A Sedulous Review of a Fine Movie

I recently watched Zero Dark Thirty with my good friend Kris.  If you’re keeping score, this is Kris’s first appearance in one of my reviews.  It makes sense – he and his wife recently had their first child, and I suppose a newborn has a way of keeping you home and away from movie theaters.  But, with little Alex now being a little older and that whole situation a little more under control, Kris wanted to catch ZDT, and I was more than happy to join him.  After seeing the movie, I’m glad he invited me.

Argo: An Extremely Thrilling Review of an Extremely Thrilling Movie

I saw Argo a few weeks ago with my friend Matthew A. Brazle.  It was a great movie.  In fact, I believe it is my favorite movie of the year.  It is rated R and has lots of swearing, so if you prefer your movies have a smaller dose of F-bombs, you might skip it.  All in all, though, it is very enjoyable and entertaining.  Despite the greatness of the flick, I’ve been avoiding writing my review for one reason – there really isn’t much to say.  It seems to be just a great thriller.

Raiders of the Lost Ark IMAX: You Know How the Guy’s Head Explodes at the End? That’s How Good This Review Is

So my buddy Matthew Brazle and I caught the IMAX screening of Raiders of the Lost Ark last Wednesday.  Here’s how I would describe the experience.  You know how people ask you questions like “If you could go back in time and witness one thing, what would it be?” and then you spend like 1-75,000 minutes mulling it over, thinking of all the great things you wish you were there for?  And then you eventually land on something like “I wish I was there for the signing of the Declaration of Independence?”    Well, if someone asked me what one movie I wish I could’ve watched in the theater during its original run, Raiders would be on the short list along with Star Wars, Jaws, the Godfather, Rocky, Chariots of Fire, and Hoosiers.  And Breakfast at Tiffany’s.  (Just kidding – I tried watching that once (because I think Audrey Hepburn is kind of foxy) and couldn’t bring myself to watch beyond 7 minutes.) So getting to see it in IMAX was a complete dream come true.  It is the same great movie we all know and love except on a GIANT screen with super clear visuals and fantastic audio.

Expendables 2: An Astoundingly Action-Filled Review

My buddy Mattress flew in from Houston last Friday night.  The purpose of his visit?  Watch Expendables 2 with the guys.  And watch it we did.  All ten of us.  Were we the most obnoxious movie watchers ever?  Probably, but then again, I find it hard to believe anyone was really taking things too seriously.  From the opening military compound infiltration to the subsequent mortar speedboat chase to Van Damme’s trademark roundhouse kicks to Arnold’s completely cheesy screen time, this movie has it all.  Oh, and if you’ve ever wanted to see Chuck Norris say a Chuck Norris joke with quite possibly the worst delivery in cinema history, there’s no better place than Expendables 2.